How to Totally Aggravate Your Diving Guide in Five Simple Steps

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Nobody wants to be the diver that the dive guide can’t wait to bring back to shore. After all, if you annoy your dive guide, chances are when you try to make your reservations for your next trip, your guide will be all “booked up.”

The other dive guides in the area may suddenly have packed schedules as well! And while most divers are amazing at being great passengers and going with the flow, there are a few obvious and not-so-obvious ways to ensure that you won’t be invited back on board for another trip.

So for beginners who haven’t been on a diving trip before, or divers who are a little rusty on guided dive trips, if you want to avoid being “that customer,” then you’ll want to make sure that you’re not accidentally following these key steps that will surely put you on the future “banned” list.

Step 1: Show Up Late

If you really want to get your dive trip off to an aggravating start, then feel free to show up at the exact time the boat is supposed to leave, or maybe even a few minutes after.

Be sure and take your time getting on board too, and make sure that when you do climb aboard, you put your armfuls of stuff on every available surface on the boat deck!

Step 2: Be Clueless About Your Equipment

Before you dive, you can up the annoyance factor by not being familiar at all with your equipment. For example, you can bring along ill-fitting wetsuits and masks.

You can also require a ton of help to put them on, and start using a new diving computer or gadget without ever opening the instruction manual. After all, the best way to learn how to use your equipment for maximum aggravation is just minutes before you descend!

Step 3: Don’t Bother Listening to the Dive Briefing

To maximize annoyance, be sure and noticeably do other things while the dive guide is giving instructions. For example, like look at your phone, snap pictures, or talk to your friends or other people on the boat.

Then, after the trip is over, be sure and complain about having a bad dive because of factors that were specifically covered in the briefing especially visibility, water temps, max depths, how to get the dive guide’s attention, etc.

Step 4: Touch as Many Things as You Can Underwater

Including your friends and family members. Bonus points for touching really, really dangerous things like a Crown of Thorns starfish, fire coral, or a blue ring octopus.

Step 5: Ignore Your Gas Consumption

And take your time coming back up! Many dive guides or instructors ask their divers to let them know when they’re at 100-120 bar so they can safely get to the ascent point.

But if you like risk taking and want to add some unneeded excitement, then wait until you’re down to 70 or even 50 bar.

Also, for added effect, veer away from your dive group early on, and take your time coming back to the boat. Be sure and leave your wetsuit and equipment all over the deck too for the return trip home.

Now chances are if you’re an experienced diver, you’ve never committed any of the above atrocities. You may even step in and try to assist if any of these faux pas are unknowingly committed by your less-experienced diving buddies.

But if you’re new to diving, and want to leave a good first impression, then make sure you’re not accidently following the steps that will lead you to persona non-grata status.

Essentially, as long as you know your stuff beforehand and pay attention while on board, you can hopefully look forward to future repeat-guests discounts in the years to come.

Want to learn how to be the perfect first time diver?! Check out our website to contact us. If you live in the Dallas area, swing by our shop in Carrollton, and we’ll be happy to chat with you about scuba!

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Article Name
How to Totally Aggravate Your Diving Guide in Five Simple Steps
Description
For beginners who haven’t been on a diving trip before, or divers who are a little rusty on guided dive trips, if you want to avoid being “that customer,” then you’ll want to make sure that you’re not accidentally following these key steps that will surely put you on the future “banned” list.
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3 responses to “How to Totally Aggravate Your Diving Guide in Five Simple Steps”

  1. Josh Cubic says:

    I am sure I have done all of these! Hangs head in shame. Great tips!

  2. Carrol Okunola says:

    It’s really hard NOT to touch anything while underwater, but oh so important! Many newbies think, oh no one is looking so let me touch this coral. Bad move!

  3. Kim Johnson says:

    As an instructor, thank you, thank you, thank you! I try to explain to my students the importance of being a “polite” diver.

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